It Ain't Nothing Until You Call It
The session that gave me back my freedom
When it gets as awful as it can get, we can then create with all the power we have.
I remember the most uncomfortable coaching session I have ever experienced as if it happened yesterday. Up until that point I thought I had overcome the prickly parts of myself and my past. Life gave me a rude awakening. It was not one of my finest moments. It was 2020 - right before Covid hit the world hard.
It had been a hellish morning. Both Air Canada and WestJet had changed several of my upcoming flights to Phoenix. I had to reschedule many of those flights for my sessions with Steve. Despite the frustration, I was proud of how calmly I handled the situation while speaking with representatives from both airlines. I remember wrapping up the last of the details as Steve was walking into the coaching shed.
Steve commenced our time together by letting me know that he had to reschedule a few of our sessions in the coming months. The exact sessions I had been working on for the past three plus hours. My countenance must have fallen, and Steve knew something was up. In fact, he immediately got in contact with Gary in 1997. The Gary that became upset every time there were production snags and quality problems at Mahler Industries!
Shit, I thought I had ditched that dick years ago!
I was fuming.
“This isn’t right,” I thought. Why is he wasting my time with scheduling bullshit during “MY” coaching session, where we should be working on my life, not moving around dates in our calendar? I was so angry that after spending hours making my new flight schedule work around our sessions, Steve was pulling the rug out from my feet. I felt like I had just eaten a ghost pepper.
All of this happened in a flash. I fell silent and morbid. Steve just let me stew.
We sat in quiet for 20 minutes. Steve smiling with eyes shining. Me furious. After what seems an eternity he smiled and said something like, “WOW, you’ve been having a hell of a time over there.”
I was. And I needed more time to just sit there. Fuming. We sat in quiet for some more. Suddenly I came back to my senses. I felt awful, ashamed, and bashful. Steve came to me and hugged me. All my hurt came out. All my insecurity around anger flowed like a river of tears.
I was ready to get to work.
Steve was upbeat and optimistic. “Gary, I am so thrilled we got to share this experience together! I got to see how you create your life when you are squeezed. I got to witness your ideas move you out of connection with yourself. It was truly inspiring. We have lots of wonderful stuff to create with!”
Somehow I could really feel the truth in his words.
I realized that I didn’t need everything in my life or my attitude to be perfect to make an instant shift. I was able to create a new way of being in an instant.
I was creating the distinction that “it ain’t nothing until I call it.”
The moment I label something, my energy aligns with that declaration. Nothing can bother me unless I decide it does. The moment we label something, we change how we experience, create, and live it. During the first hour of this session, I felt the impact of my own declaration. It was exhausting, uncomfortable, and diminishing.
Imagine a baseball game. The umpire decides whether a pitch is a ball or a strike. Imagine if you get to create the parameters of any event you experience in your life.
I chose to change the parameters of what disturbs me.
Life decided to put my learning to the test.
My wife and I were slated to get on our flight the day after my session with Steve. We found ourselves running late for the airport. I sat with my annoyance. I breathed into it. I began to play with everything Steve had taught me.
The highway to the airport was clogged with traffic. I kept my cool by not calling it an issue. The Uber driver and I joked about the situation. He found a way off the highway and got us to the airport.
When we arrived at the Air Canada kiosk, check-in was closed. I had two beautiful bottles of red wine that had to be checked. I asked the attendant if she liked excellent wine. She said she did. I gave her the two bottles. She guided us through security. Somehow we were upgraded to business class.
As we laughed at our adventure, my wife said she was impressed with how I treated her and the situation. I said I was too.
I get to choose everything I call in my life.
I AM FREE.
Then covid hit…